The Relationship Spectrum: Helping Teens Recognize Healthy vs. Harmful Love
Love Should Never Hurt
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, but conversations about healthy relationships should happen all year.
At She United, we teach girls that love is not confusion, control, fear, or pressure.
Healthy relationships feel safe.
But how do you know the difference?
That’s where the Relationship Spectrum comes in.
What Is the Relationship Spectrum?
Relationships exist on a spectrum, not just “good” or “bad.”
They typically fall into three categories:
💚 Healthy
Healthy relationships are built on:
Respect and trust
Open communication
Mutual support
Clear boundaries
Equality and emotional safety
In healthy relationships, both people feel valued. Disagreements don’t lead to fear. Boundaries are honored. Growth is encouraged.
Healthy love feels secure, not stressful.
⚠️ Warning Signs
This is the gray area many teens miss.
Warning signs can include:
Jealousy or possessiveness
Constant criticism
Isolation from friends
Mood swings used to control
Pressuring someone into things they’re not comfortable with
Warning signs don’t always mean a relationship is abusive — but they do mean attention is needed.
Unchecked warning signs can escalate.
Education at this stage is prevention.
❤️🩹 Unhealthy & Abusive
Abuse can be emotional, verbal, digital, financial, or physical.
This may look like:
Control or threats
Verbal or physical harm
Extreme jealousy
Intimidation
Gaslighting
Abuse is about power and control, not love.
And no one deserves it.
Why This Matters for Teen Girls
1 in 3 teens in the U.S. experiences some form of dating abuse before adulthood.
Many don’t recognize it.
Many normalize it.
Many stay silent.
At She United, we believe prevention starts with education. We teach girls:
That boundaries are not rude
That “no” is complete
That love does not require fear
That support systems matter
That leaving is strength
We don’t just mentor, we equip.
What Healthy Love Actually Looks Like
Healthy love:
✔ Encourages independence
✔ Celebrates friendships
✔ Respects privacy
✔ Allows disagreement without punishment
✔ Makes you feel safe, not anxious
If someone says they love you but controls you, isolates you, or scares you, that is not love.
That is control.
And girls deserve better.
How She United Supports Prevention
Through mentorship, leadership development, and safe-space conversations, She United creates environments where girls can ask questions, process experiences, and learn the tools to build healthy relationships.
We believe informed girls become empowered women.
S.H.E.
Support•Her•Evolution 🖤
If You or Someone You Know Needs Help
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
📞 1-866-331-9474
📱 Text LOVEIS to 22522
🌐 www.loveisrespect.org
